I took the couple of days off, as you may have noticed. I've been thinking a lot about how busy and crazy my life has become. There are so many pressures, so many disappointments, and fears that I'm never going to be good enough. More so that I am currently not good enough. I started thinking about how just a couple months ago, I didn't have a job, I wasn't in school, and I was severely depressed over everything that my life wasn't.
I was focused on everything in a negative way. I was not good enough, I wasn't strong enough to beat my depression, how I was trying to do this alone and it wasn't working. I could not reach out and accept the help that God wanted to give me. I know that it was painful for Him to watch me cry almost every night and asking Him why I had nothing and was nothing in the eyes of the world.
I was trying my best, I was giving everything to them and I was still turning up empty-handed every time. There were few joys in my life. Even if I got to spend more time talking to friends and family, I still felt worthless and unimportant. Why did I have to suffer so much and have nothing? I'm a young adult, I'm supposed to be filled with ambition, goals, dreams, and happiness. I had nothing. I was filled with misery, agony, pain, and every other thought that I never thought should be attached to being a Christian.
However, in one week, everything changed. Less than that, it was more like three days. One night, when I was feeling especially down about everyhing, I just talked with God and told Him that I was giving Him all of my burdens and that I am not strong enough to handle this on my own, I needed Him. Three days was all He needed to put the money for school and a job in my life. My job and school may seem overwhelming at times, but I know that I have a Savior on my side and that He's strong enough to carry me through every battle.
The first time I really paid attention to this song was not too long after I had received everything from Him. I couldn't get the chorus out of my head. I finally looked it up and knew that I had to share it with others. I shared it with some of my CP friends and now I'm sharing this with you. You may not be strong enough or good enough on your own. However, God is there and He is strong enough and good enough no matter what the situation is. He will give you a home and a place of rest. Just please don't keep trying to do this on your own.
Savior Please: Josh Wilson (Album: Trying to Fit the Ocean in a Cup)
Savior, please take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best that I can, but I don't know how long I'll last
I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me
Savior, please help me stand
I fall so hard, I fade so fast
Will You begin right where I end
And be the God of all I am because You're all I have
Hallelujah
Everything You are to me
Is everything I'll ever need
And I am learning to believe
That I don't have to prove a thing
'Cause You're the one who's saving me
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